“I’ll Have Another” to me screams the exhilarating feeling of letting go.  Lately I’ve been struggling with “Being Good”:  no carbs, no sugar, exercise 4 times a week, meditate, journal, drink water, go to bed early, wake early, no alcohol, and lots of work, work and work.  Even on my day off I didn’t even feel like I relaxed.  I wasn’t overly happy and I didn’t even really have fun.  Let me tell you, that is NOT what I signed up for!  Hell NO!  Listen, I am a Taurus and the thing about us is that we like pleasurable things.  We enjoy luxurious experiences, decadent foods, beautiful surroundings and romantic rendezvous.  This constant self imposed pressure to be better, be good, don’t go crazy- has made me SICK!  “I’ll Have Another” reminded me that you can be a winner even while you are being indulgent.  Maybe I just needed a reminder.  What’s a life of vanilla if you are a chocolate fan?  Plain and safe are NOT adjectives I want to describe my life, my personality or my decisions.

I’m letting go, I’m releasing the restraints that are holding me back from enjoying life and I’m embracing the part that says “I’ll Have Another”.  Now I’m not turning into Paula Dean, suggesting you put a stick of butter into every dish you make.  I’m also not talking about moderation, moderation is playing it safe.  I’m talking about letting go- just enough to feel intoxicated.  Let yourself plan and enjoy a fully pleasurable experience.

I decided that I needed something decadent, rich and sweet- and close to home.  I walked four short blocks to Prince and Mott.  At to the Little Cupcake Bakeshop, I wavered between the Brooklyn Blackout cupcake or the giant layered cake.  Plain me said get the cupcake, but wild me said- go for the slice!  I did and I’ll tell you what- I enjoyed every single bite I took!  It was moist with buttery chocolate frosting, swirled with a ribbon of insane dark chocolate ganache.  It was my Sunday fantasy- and it came true!  I felt slightly intoxicated, totally satisfied and I felt like a winner!

What will you say “I’ll Have Another” to?  Get out there and do something, eat something or say something that makes you feel GOOD!  Pleasure is a winning sensation!

Last week Mark didn’t tell Ally anything, just got her into the car and drove her to the beach (yes in the middle of winter in New York).  He prepared a picnic, blanket and nice bottle of wine.  She blushed as she told the story.  I was so intrigued!  As the weekend creeps up every week, I typically have fantasies of how it will play out.  The problem is, we never have a plan and we both want to please the other with our own selfish weekend desires.  When Ally and Mark told me about their plan- each week they switch off doing something nice, new and special for the other; I decided that I wanted in on that!  I want to insure that I am and will always be HOT!

Cheers!

This weekend I”m going to make a PLAN.  Even though I want to plan my own weekend fantasy, I am going to resist. I plan to think about hot HOT I will be giving Joel an amazing experience.  I”m not going overboard, I want to sustain this new lifestyle- so maybe just a glass of Moet in a special place, he’s been talking about this glass of champagne since his birthday February 24.

While my relationship might not be at Habanero level just yet, it is getting hot.  I encourage you to join in, it’s just 26 weekends per year that you have to plan, and even a 20 minute foot massage or homemade cookies can be that special thing to make your lover’s day.  By week 24 you might even graduate to hand feeding you love while wearing a full latex body suit- Habanero Hot!

1.  Don’t wait till the last minute-  This shows you really don’t care.  You know it’s Feb 14th, plan now!

2.  Don’t do the same thing- If you always go out to dinner, DON’T.  If you always buy flowers- DON’T, If you always buy sex toys- DON’T.  Being predictable is BORING!

3.  Don’t go to a movie, a play or some other non interactive event.  Valentine’s Day is about LOVE.  To express that you need to spend time together interacting.  We are always watching T.V. together- but actually spending time talking doesn’t happen every day- it should happen on VDay.

4.  Don’t think you can buy a card and that’s it.  That’s like saying my love for you equals $3.50.  Even if you only have $3.50 to spend you can use your brain to make up for your lack of dinero.

5.  Don’t say you will celebrate over the weekend.  YES this year Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday and that might be a difficult night to get out and about.  HOWEVER- even if your big thing is set for Saturday night- Tuesday the real Valentine’s Day should be recognized some way.

Check back for what you SHOULD do to make V-Day awesome!

xo Shani

Next Up- Valentine’s Day

5 Things You Should Do!

Pomegranate Champagne Punch

1 1/2 c pomegranate juice 
1 cup pear nectar
1/4 c orange-flavored liqueur, such as Grand Marnier or Triple Sec
1 bottle Champagne OR buy Prosecco- same effect, less money and when mixing juice with the bubbly, you can use the inexpensive stuff.
Combine the pomegranate juice, pear nectar and liqueur in a large pitcher. Slowly add champagne and serve over ice.
(enough for 6 glasses)

recipe origin: Everyday Food Magazine

2.  Lighting -  Go SEXY!  That means candles!  Sprinkle then throughout your party room, the glow makes everyone look sexier.  I love these votives from West Elm.
Use only white, non perfumed candles.  The glow is more pure and your home won’t become overwhelmed with conflicting perfumes.

3.  Great Music – After alcohol and lighting there’s music.  Depending your budget- you might be able to actually hire a DJ.  Seriously, it may be less than you think.  If not, plan your music.  Start with lower tempo songs- R&B is a good choice, keep the volume down so that your guests can talk, for dinner you might want move into loungey music so that you can really concentrate on the experience of eating, from there- pump it up!  Go for songs with faster BPM (beats per minute) and those songs that get the crowd moving.  To send everyone home change things up again- turn the music down and try some Enya- that really says night night.

4.  Give your Guests a Gift – How many times have we heard about the fabulous celebrity party with the INSANE bag of swag?!!  Be cooler than a red carpet swag bag and give your friends Red Undies as they walk in.  Sounds kinda strange… but- in Italy receiving a pair of red panties will bring you good luck for the entire upcoming year.  Plus, now everyone will know what color panties you have on- plant the seed of seduction this way.
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5.  Serve an Aphrodisiac!  This is a sexy New Year’s Eve Dinner- there MUST be an aphrodisiac!  Make sure all your guests (even if it’s just one) know that dinner will include aphrodisiacs- your guests will begin to imagine what their night will be like, stimulating a more sensual evening.

Try King Crab Legs!  Super EASY!  & SEXY.  Just wrap in foil and bake- serve with melted butter and Crab Crackers.  Crabs come from the sea which means they are blessed by The Goddess of Love, Aphrodite, plus eating with your hands is very suggestive and seductive.

OR start the night with blini’s, creme fraiche and caviar!  The tiny eggs of caviar represent fertility and the high levels of zinc will increase one’s testosterone therefore increasing your libido.

6.  Make a Wish -  Before the guests dive too much into the Party aspect of the Party- ask them all to participate in making a New Year’s Eve intention.  Have paper and crayons and have everyone write down what their intention for 2011 is.  Sharing this information with others will deepen your intention and your commitment to it.  Achieving goals is sexy.

7.  Serve and Easy Dessert- Many Spanish speaking countries believe in eating 12 grapes a midnight to represent 12 sweet months.  Place cleaned red grapes in the freezer early that day.  When ready to serve- place the grapes on a serving plater with broken up dark chocolate bars- get a mix of plain, bars with nuts and bars with dried fruits.  The grapes turn into an almost sorbet and the chocolate pairs magically with them.  Take it another step further and serve chilled Vodka- try cranberry.

8.  Dress Like a Diva - You are the host so you should look AMAZING!  But, make sure your outfit can last the entire night, no crazy bell sleeves that will catch on fire when cooking and remember parties can heat up a room, so no cashmere or wool.

9.  Pick a Theme Color – You already have a theme for your party- New Year’s Eve, now pick something fun and decorate with that.  I am fond of metallics- pairing gold or silver with basic white plates is an easy way to fancy up your party.  Use real linen napkins, real glassware and candles- you can forgo the flowers with this style.

10.  Play a Game - This is a Seductive Dinner Party… every time someone says the word 2012- make them kiss someone.  Or better yet, make them do a body shot!  Your guests will be nicely lubricated with alcohol in no time!

* Smile & Let it Go – The Party has started, your guest/guests have arrived, there is nothing more you can do.  Remember to smile and to have fun.  Smiling is the sexiest thing one can do!

To learn more about adding sensuality into your life, one meal at a time- follow Shani Delamor on Twitter @shanidelamor or check out her website www.appetiteforseduction.com for The Sexiest (Easiest) Dessert Ever and to sign up for Sensual Cooking Classes in NYC

With the negative test in the trash, I threw my holiday visions in there with it.  I stayed in that mood for a while.  Then my New York family had it’s annual Holiday Party.  The tradition began three years ago.  The women made the dinner, the men took care of the bar, everyone brought an ornament for the host’s tree and we had a $20 Dirty Santa gift exchange.  Before the Pork Pernil was sliced, I was feeling the holiday cheer.

I’ve decided to accept my life where it is.  If I am meant to celebrate Christmas again this year as a “Newlywed”, well then that’s what I’m going to do.  In addition, I’m going to start some traditions for my husband and I that will be in place no matter what happens to our family.  I’m starting with a shopping trip to Macy’s to buy an ornament that we both pick out to represent our feelings and hopes for the new year.  I’m also going to make the Kolach and the Pozole.  But what we really need is a special tradition a ritual.  Rituals are regular events which give us a feeling of security and allows us to be present, in the moment and able to focus on each other.  I’m thinking that we need a bedtime ritual, something to mark the night.  Maybe a cinnamon candle for the bedroom to light after we take a shower together.  Instead of new jammies, I think a foot massage for my husband while wearing only a Santa’s hat will be perfect.  Rituals create an aura of relaxation, pleasure and connectiveness.  If our new holiday ritual leads to another test, well… I guess we’ll keep buying those candles.

XO Shani

1.  Wear a Sexy Costume- Forget Black Friday shopping and instead take this day as a chance to connect with your partner.  Grab that Halloween costume from 4 weeks ago and get into character.  I always liked to play “Bed and Breakfast”.  While wearing your purple wig with your high heels and short skirt, or lingerie- make up some yummy turkey sandwiches, toast the bread, add crisp lettuce, slice of cheese, then the mayo and dijon mustard, slice of tomato, pickles and avocado and of course the turkey!  Serve your customer and ask him he needs anything else- you partner’s chance to request whatever he desires!

2.  Be Grateful! Make a list of all the things you did this year that you are grateful for.  Be grateful for the turkey too cuz thanks to him you had a great holiday and tons of yummy leftovers.  Being in a place of gratitude is SUPER sexy!

3.  Create your own 91/2 weeks- grab all the leftovers from the fridge, a bunch of spoons and forks and a blindfold.  Put your partner on the kitchen floor leaning up against the fridge.  Gently blindfold him and one by one let him taste the foods- or mix things up and have him feel the foods and try to guess- might be hard to feel the difference between mash potatoes and mashed yams, but this will be the perfect excuse for a couple’s shower.

4.  Have a turkey sandwich competition. Divide up the turkey, set the timer and GO!  See who can create the best leftover turkey sandwich!  Have the rest of your family help judge.  Winning is SEXY.

5.  Create a tradition- Take your turkey outside!  Wrap up those sandwiches to go and get out of the house.  Make it a tradition to picnic and enjoy your loved one while snacking on delicious leftovers in nature.

6.  Pick a Theme- Thursday was VERY American, make Friday an international day.  Pick a country and then make leftovers inspired by that countries cuisine.

Mexico- Turkey Chilaquiles

Italy- Turkey Lasagna

France- Turkey artichoke Quiche

India- Curried Turkey and Rice

Thailand- Spicy Thai Turkey Soup

Yugoslavia- Turkey Stuffed Peppers

Clearly all men will agree that the former of the two is the most desirable method… I’ll give them that.  I however was thinking how nice it is to be fed.  Now is the time to remove any visions of babies and thoughts of parenting.  Minds are a curious thing and anything can be the inspiration for something else…

So imagine a plate full of fresh, juicy fruit; strawberries, mangos, grapes, kiwis, bananas… whatever you like.  You are lounging on the couch, spread out on a lush blanket on the floor or cradled by cushions on your bed.  Your man comes in, he’s carrying a large plate full of these sweet jewels.  You are wearing a silky nighty, his hand makes it’s way from your shoulder down your leg, you get goose bumps.  Then he gently ties a silk sash around your eyes and gently kisses your lips.  He has your complete attention.  Then one by one, he feeds you.  His manly hands place each luscious, ripe fruit onto your tongue.  He is careful, attentive and loving.  You feel totally adored as he slowly, seductively nourishes your soul.

When you create a taboo in your life, it seems as though you then want it even more and more often!  Now is the same thing true for the opposite scenario?  If I lived in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, would I then NEVER want sweets?  That’s doubtful… but how is it possible to make these desires work in my favor?  Even better, how do I make the things that I want to do, but kinda dread doing become a major desire in my life?  I discovered that with working out, the more often one does it, the more you want to do it, but the minute you stop- you are happy to sit on the couch forever.  Sex is tricky.  My husband and I want to have a baby, so clearly the more sex we have the better our odds.  Funny thing is, the minute you look at sex that way, it becomes a job and you no longer want it.  WHAT?  Not fair!

Or is it all about advertising?  My mind wasn’t really thinking about Dunkin’ Doughnuts (really they are not my favorite thing) but the commercial seduced me.  I want my yoga class to seduce me like I was a single, divorced woman and yoga was my sexy, wealthy dream man.  I guess as far as the baby making goes… I need to do my own advertising.  Pump up the seduction quality in my life… maybe that will be the incentive to get to yoga class in order to show off my new bod- to seduce my husband to make the baby.  It’s worth a try!